What Is Love?

Day 10-Domestic Violence Awareness Month #pray4dvfreedom

Love is a treasure.

I’ve been studying how the Bible describes love for almost a year. I’ve been renewing my mind of truth and of what love actually is.

The first place I went in my search was to the well known love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

The first thing I realized is, love cannot be contained by a word or phrase. It is not the sentence, “I love you.”

Love is action.

An action is movement or a motion and love’s actions can be seen by the description above through patience, kindness, selflessness, respectfulness, forgiving, joyfulness and faithfulness.

The ultimate love action was by Jesus Christ who voluntarily gave up his life so that we can live.

For our love to be experienced by others it must be by our actions. Not only in our voices.

Abusive relationships are created on a lie. Deception. A false pretense of the truth.

Abusive relationships are continued by forcefully controlling another individual against their will. Victims live in fear.

Yet 1 John 4:18 states, “There is no fear in love.”

So when an abuser claims to love their victims yet chooses to voluntarily violate others through control and fear-the abuser is lying.

There is no love in abuse.

Abuse is an action.

Love is an action.

An abuser is communicating what they really want and feel if we are willing to see it by their actions.

The sentence, “I love you.” is only empty words with no actions behind them.

So…I must ask have you ever been scared of someone? Does this person make you feel inferior or sorry for them? Do they put you in compromising situations?

Are you scared of your significant other?

When I was dating my ex-husband I didn’t realize that my sister was scared him too. She was scared that he was going to harm her. This fear was a result of his forceful words, his tone and body language towards her. I didn’t admit that I was scared of him harming me to myself or anyone at that time. But I was scared. I felt and was told that I could not end the relationship.

So, I must ask you, are you scared of someone but they tell you with their words that they love you?

If your answer is yes then the first step is admit your fears to yourself.

Then, I beg you to find a professional experienced in abuse to talk to.

If you aren’t sure, then just begin by asking yourself these questions:

Does your significant other love you with actions? If so, what actions?

Do they love you as God describes love? Do they sacrifice for you?

Are you scared to tell them how you’re feeling?

Do they find other people and use them to convince you to change your mind?

Are your personal standards of physical intimacy honored?

Do you feel like you cannot get out of the relationship?