Day 11 -Domestic Violence Awareness Month #pray4dvfreedom
I had a friend comment last week, “I know abuse is awful but it seems like I keep hearing about it everywhere I go.”
I’m not sure she appreciated my response.
Which was a smile.
I bet you’re wondering, how on earth can I smile about abuse?
Because it’s being talked about.
If the secret of abuse happening is removed by talking about it then, the truth of the detestable violence will be brought out into the light. Victims can begin to heal and the abuser may choose to repent.
Just like the Bible says in Mark 4:22, “For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought out into the open, and every secret will be brought into the light.”
Talking about it helps more than you know.
When I was living in the abusive marriage I didn’t come out and say, “Help me. I’m being abused.”
That is probably what my family and friends wished I had done. But I was not in a safe environment to do so.
It took me years to be able to admit the truth to myself. Let alone anyone else.
Partly because of the emotional abuse.
Partly because I didn’t want the abuse to be true.
The tactics in emotional abuse are the same as those used to break prisoners when captured and held hostage against their will. These tactics are used by abusers to break their victim and keep them controlled for the rest of their lives.
I had been told so many times, “It’s your fault. You made me do it.” That I began to believe his words.
The truth is, I did not cause the abuse. I did not ask him to hurt me. I did not take hold of his hands and force them to beat myself.
That was his choice.
I know the truth now. But while I lived in the abusive environment, I wasn’t sure.
Believing his lies was a stronghold that I couldn’t get out of by myself.
When I was living in the abusive marriage one of the radio shows he let me listen to was, The Dave Ramsey Show. If you haven’t heard of his show or read his book, The Total Money Makever I highly recommend you look them up!
One day while I was listening, I heard Dave Ramsey talk about his daughter’s marriage. He often discussed marriage issues as money stress is a huge proponent within relationships.
I’ll never forget the moment I heard Dave Ramsey say, if his daughter came to him with marriage problems he’d ask her, “Did he hit you?” if so he would get her out of there in a heartbeat. Otherwise, if there was no abuse then he would not get involved and tell his daughter to go talk to her husband.
Hearing his words rocked my world off it’s axis.
I had so many Christians and multiple pastors tell me that unless an affair was involved, divorce wasn’t an option. The marriage must go on at all costs.
From my perspective while I was a victim, all I heard was, “It doesn’t matter if he beats you. You must submit and be a godly wife. Divorce is wrong.”
Talking about abuse helps more than you know. It can plant a seed of truth. Or water a seed already planted and help it to grow.
Please don’t stop talking about abuse.
Your words could save a life.